Rejected by Review

You’ve finally done it. The ticket that’s been haunting your backlog for weeks is complete, your code runs, and you’re ready to click "Create Pull Request."

Then comes the review. Comment after comment lands like a tiny dagger, change this name, fix that spacing, "have you considered rewriting the whole function?"

Suddenly it’s not just feedback, it’s rejection, and your brain decides you’re the worst developer in history. We all know scope creep is real, but emotional scope creep is worse: your sense of worth gets tangled into the code.

This week we’re talking about mega-PRs, creeping scope, and how to survive the review loop without losing your spark.

The snowball PR

It always starts the same way. A tidy little ticket lands on your desk. Update a function, add a feature, fix a bug. Easy. You open your editor, make the change, and then… oh wait. That variable name from 2019 looks wrong. And this other file has duplicated logic. And wouldn’t it be cleaner if you just refactored the whole thing? Suddenly, what started as a five-line fix has turned into a monster PR spanning 47 files and 1,200 lines of code. You click "Create Pull Request" with sweaty hands, half-proud, half-terrified.

Enter the reviewers

Now comes the feedback loop. One reviewer wants consistent naming. Another suggests a different approach. Someone asks, politely, if you could break it into smaller PRs. The comments stack up, and your brain interprets every suggestion as a personal rejection. Instead of "rename this variable," you hear "you don’t belong here." For neurodivergent devs, rejection sensitivity makes even neutral comments feel like daggers. You’re not just defending code, you’re defending your worth.

Emotional creep

Big PRs don’t just weigh down your reviewers. They weigh down your brain too. The longer the diff, the harsher the comments feel, and the more likely your mind spirals into "I messed up." ADHD and AuDHD brains are pattern-seekers, which means a single round of feedback can trigger memories of past rejections. That job interview that ghosted. The teacher who said "you’re smart but lazy." The friend who never texted back. A pull request becomes a referendum on your entire existence.

Why smaller PRs help brains, not just processes

Smaller PRs are more than a best practice. They’re self-protection. With less scope, feedback is easier to digest. With fewer lines, comments are more about clarity than overhaul. And when something does need fixing, it’s one function, not your whole self-image. Smaller PRs aren’t just for reviewers — they’re for you.

Surviving the feedback loop

So how do you keep reviews from feeling like rejection letters?

• Think in slices, not meals. Even if the task feels like one "thing," ship it in layers. First the core fix, then follow-ups for cleanup.
• Use draft PRs. They set expectations and let you share progress without the pressure of final judgment.
• Name the feeling. When RSD hits, say to yourself, "this is rejection sensitivity talking, not reality." That little pause makes a difference.
• Pick your "done." Decide ahead of time what "enough" looks like. Stop there. Ship it.

Remember who’s on your team

It’s easy to forget that reviewers aren’t enemies. Most of them want you to succeed. A nitpick about spacing isn’t about you, it’s about consistency. A suggestion to split a function isn’t a rejection, it’s collaboration. Sometimes feedback is clumsy or rushed, sure. But your worth is not measured in GitHub comments.

Almost done is enough

Mega PRs will happen again. That’s life in code. But every time you split a change, ship smaller, or take a breath before reacting to feedback, that’s progress. You don’t need to master reviews. You just need to remember: your code is up for review, not you.

If reviews have ever left you staring at your screen with that pit-in-the-stomach feeling, you’re not alone. Every dev junior or senior has felt the sting of feedback at some point.

What matters is remembering that comments are about the work, not your worth. Keep your PRs lighter, your heart softer, and your sense of humor intact.

After all, code merges come and go, but you’re still here, still building, still almost done.

See you next issue, i'm just going to finish this semi mega PR that i'm doing at work whenever it finishes..
Currently 60+ comments so i'm holding the record.

Simen (+ Echo humming softly in the background)