Presence Over Perfection

My two-year-old just learned how to say frontend, backend, and NO DADDY NO - often in the same breath.

He squeals like a fire alarm made by Pixar, and it hits my ADHD brain like a DDoS attack.

I go from regulated to “please reboot me” in half a second.

And then - he stops.

He runs to me, arms out, eyes wide, and says:

And when he wraps his arms around me - that’s when it happens.

Everything in my brain… goes quiet.

• No noise.
• No guilt.
• No open tabs screaming for attention.

Just stillness.

For five seconds, maybe ten - it’s like my internal buffer clears.

No scripts running. Just that one moment, that tiny human, and me.

And I think:

Also - you might’ve noticed this issue hit your inbox on a Tuesday instead of Friday.

Turns out, ND brains don’t vibe with end-of-week energy (and neither do ours),

so we’re switching to Tuesdays - when your dopamine’s more likely to still be awake.

(You don’t need a kid to relate. Maybe your version is a dog, a cactus, or a weirdly calming rubber duck on your desk. Whatever it is - if it makes you pause, it counts.)

You don’t need a toddler to know what it’s like to short-circuit.

It’s that moment where your brain says:

• Too much sound
• Too many tabs
• Too many people saying “quick question” like it isn’t the fourth emergency in a row
  

For me, it happens when my son squeals like a siren and I’m already overstimulated.

For you, maybe it’s:

• Slack pings
• Back-to-back meetings
• Walking into a room and forgetting why you’re in there — but still sensing urgency
• 
  

❌ It’s not laziness. It’s not disorganisation. It’s buffering.

ADHD brains aren’t built for constant sensory and cognitive input.

We can hyperfocus, sure - but the moment the noise exceeds our capacity, we:

• Freeze
• Crash
• Hide
• Mask
• Melt down quietly while pretending to be "fine"

🧠 Why "presence" feels so out of reach

We want to be here - really here - but our brains are:

• Halfway through five tabs
• Reliving yesterday’s awkward moment
• Wondering if we ever replied to that email from March

So we chase:

• Control
• Perfection
• The dream of a preloaded day with no surprises
  

But real life doesn’t do clean commits.

• It throws merge conflicts while you’re mid-debug
• It drops a spontaneous cuddle request while your brain is locked in error handling mode

Perfection doesn’t make me feel safe - it makes me feel stuck.

But presence?

Presence makes me feel real.

When my kid wraps his arms around me, the noise doesn’t just stop

• The to-dos fade
• The guilt hits pause
• I feel human again

And even if you don’t have a kid screaming about buses - maybe you’ve had that moment.

When something small - a stretch, a breath, a cat on your keyboard - interrupts your brain’s chaotic scroll and says:

🫶 What I’m trying to remember:

• Presence isn’t earned by being productive
• It’s available right now - even if everything’s a mess
• Even if you’re behind
• Even if the only quiet moment today is watching your coffee swirl while VS Code crashes again
  

And sometimes?

That’s enough.

👋 See you next Tuesday,

Simen

Buffer is currently trying to rename all my folders to "You’re doing your best.""

I might let them.